5 Types Of Women That Turned Scorpius Malfoy Off
by sarahyyy
Summary: But even though she was a witty, funny, redheaded Quidditch-playing Weasley, Scorpius found that he didn't mind at all.


**"Five Types of Women That Turned Scorpius Malfoy Off: Rose Weasley Excluded"**

Disclaimer: Do not own anything you know!

* * *

_i. Witty women_

"I do believe that you have some serious inferiority complex," his best friend, Optimus Zabini suddenly told him one day while the both of them were having lunch.

Scorpius tried to suppress his chortle and ended up choking on his sandwich. "Pardon?"

"You. Inferiority complex." Optimus rolled his eyes.

"How so?" Scorpius arched an eyebrow elegantly.

"Don't tell me you've never realised that all the women you date can never string two proper sentence together?" Optimus asked. Scorpius' eyebrow remained arched and he continued, "Take that brunette you took to your mother's charity ball. What was her name again?"

Scorpius shrugged.

"Typical," Optimus sighed, "Does she even speak English?"

"No," Scorpius replied quite honestly, "But she was hot."

Optimus sighed again. "And the other woman. The exotic Asian chick that you took to the fundraiser. I asked her how long the both of you had known each other and all she did was to nod and simper at me."

"So?"

"You don't date witty women."

"I don't see _you _dating witty women," came the fast retort.

"At least my flings speak English," Optimus shot back.

Scorpius sighed and said, "Even if I don't date clever women, which I assure you, my friend, is no serious sin, I still fail to see how it leads to me having inferiority complex."

"You don't like your dates being cleverer than you. You hate feeling that you aren't the best. You'd throw hissy fits."

"I _do not _throw _hissy fits_!"

"Oh yes you do. Do you still remember our Hogwarts days when you used to lose to Rose Weasley every term-"

"Shut it."

"Ah, the origin of your inferiority complex."

* * *

_ii. Red heads_

"Scorp," Albus started, "Seriously, mate, you don't want to miss this. There's a whole club of redheaded women inside that room. Right now. Waiting to be ravished."

"Al, you know I don't do redheads." He scrunched up his face in a wince.

Albus rolled his eyes. "Your lost, mate. Redheads can be right feisty in bed."

"I don't really give much of a damn seeing as I am never going to date a redhead ever in my life."

"You're just saying."

Scorpius fixed Albus with the most serious expression he could manage. "Just because you have this fixation of dating redheads, which probably stems from you being surrounded by them all the time, doesn't mean that I have to patronize you all the time. You _do_ understand that, don't you?"

Albus chuckled. "You have a weirdly twisted mind."

He grinned at Al. "As do you. Only you never admit it."

"You'll never date a redhead?" Al asked again, arching an eyebrow.

"Never."

"Not even dear little Rosie-"

"Shut it, Al."

Albus' grin (and Scorpius' scowl too, for that matter) lasted the whole day.

* * *

_iii. Quidditch players_

Scorpius loved flying. He loved the feeling of the wind combing through his hair. He loved the tingles he felt in his fingers when he mounted his broom. He loved the feeling of being carefree and happy up in the air.

The only thing Scorpius loved more than flying was playing Quidditch. He loved the feeling of adrenaline that coursed through his veins during a Quidditch game. He loved the feeling of closing his hand in on the Golden Snitch.

The one thing that made Scorpius happier than playing Quidditch was winning a Quidditch game. And normally, he had no problems with that. Ever since he had started playing for the Ravenclaw team in his second year, they had been winning the house cup.

Until Rose Weasley found it a good time to join the Slytherin Quidditch Team in her sixth year as the Keeper.

Ever since, winning a game was no longer easy and Scorpius was forced to revaluate his standing on female Quidditch players.

* * *

_iv. Daughters of war heroes_

"-and then Rosie said 'Minister's cousin or not, I have not a clue what you're trying to tell me, and to be very honest, I don't give a damn.' and the whole team went wild with laughter." Albus chortled as he related the story to Optimus and Scorpius, both of which were nursing whiskeys together with him.

Optimus laughed. "She actually said that?"

Albus nodded, still laughing. "To the Minister's favourite cousin! You should have seen his face!"

"I can imagine." Optimus snorted.

"Just because she's the daughter of two war heroes doesn't mean that she can have her way with everything," Scorpius said with a deep frown.

"For the love of Merlin," Optimus exclaimed, "You know she was just kidding!"

Albus nodded vigorously. "She was trying to lighten the atmosphere for the team."

"She was being funny," Optimus related.

"Yeah, that's Rosie."

"Well if you ask me," Scorpius paused to take a big gulp of his fire whiskey, "I think it was a terribly stupid thing to do and it could have ruined the little progress that her team has made."

Optimus and Albus snorted simultaneously.

"Well, no one's asking you."

* * *

_v. Weasleys, period_

Optimus had been his friend ever since he could ever remember. Albus had been his friend ever since Hogwarts. He'd mingled around with purebloods, halfbloods, and ever Muggle-borns.

But never, ever, ever, _ever_ Weasleys.

_"Beware of those Weasleys, Scorpius," his Granddad Lucius had told him, "They are the spawns of devils."_

He had, quite literally, taken his Grandfather's advice literally. He'd planned to hide (albeit gracefully and subtlety) from all Weasleys, planned not to get entangled with anything that had to do any Weasley, and basically, he would have just spent his whole time in Hogwarts trying to avoid them.

Albus didn't count, not literally. He wasn't a redhead and he wasn't (fully) a Weasley. He supposed that his Grandfather wouldn't mind.

But then one day, Rose Weasley had the guts to fling a dungbomb at him. He figured that if he didn't retaliate, he would have seemed like a coward.

And so he did.

* * *

(And that was when Rose Weasley officially took over his thoughts, not that he'd ever admit it to anyone.)

But even though she was a witty redheaded Quidditch-playing Weasley -daughter of two famous war heroes, nonetheless-, Scorpius couldn't help but to think, as she walked down the aisle to him, that he didn't mind.

All those traits still turned him off.

But not when it came to Rose Weasley.


End file.
